Convert Your Unused Valuables to Cash

Unload Your Valuables for Cash
By Stacey Bradford | Aug 30, 2011
www.bnet.com

Read more: http://moneywatch.bnet.com/saving-money/blog/family-finance/unload-your-valuables-for-cash/4965/#ixzz1XEyLULH1

In just a few days I’m moving from New York City to the suburbs. While packing up my home, I realized I have a lot of stuff that I don’t need. It was easy to get rid of the clothing and kids’ toys by donating them to the Salvation Army. But I held onto other items, including some old family heirlooms, because I know they must have some value even though I can’t appreciate them. But now I’ve found a hassle-free way to unload them for cash.

Meet Pawngo, an online pawn shop that allows folks to trade their valuables for cash. Customers can either borrow money against an asset (think high-end watch or digital SLR camera) or sell an item outright.

Here’s how the site works: You send the company a picture and detailed description of the item you’d like to pawn and in return you’ll receive a preliminary offer letter for what the company thinks it’s worth. If you like what you read, you then mail your asset to the company (with free shipping and insurance). A certified evaluator then takes a look and makes you a formal offer. If you accept the terms, Pawngo wires cash into your bank account.

The company’s CEO, Todd Hills, told me that most of his customers pawn belongings to meet a short term cash need, such as a major car repair. Then, once that person can repay the loan (the principal plus fees), he gets his item back.

But as I mentioned earlier, I’m more interested in selling off things I’ve found around my home. Hills says his company can accommodate this too, provided the heirlooms, electronics and jewelry are items that ship easily.

One potential downside to selling valuables through Pawngo is that the market for luxury goods and collectibles isn’t very strong right now thanks to the weak economy. So you may not get as much for your Tag Heuer as you think it’s worth, especially after Pawngo takes its cut off the top. (The company says its margins are 20% to 30%.)

The one exception, of course, is anything with gold. As we all know, the price is through the roof right now and is hovering over $1,800 an ounce. This is good news for folks like me who have collected necklaces and earrings over the years and know we’ll never wear some of these pieces again.

Still, I probably won’t make as much off an old necklace I received for my Sweet 16 as I may have once imagined. That’s because most jewelry isn’t pure gold. Fourteen karat, for example, is less than 60% gold. And if an item has been cleaned a lot, its precious metal content may be even slightly lower.

Could you make more money selling your stuff elsewhere? Maybe. And if I was sitting on a very valuable coin or baseball card collection, I would probably get it independently appraised and shop it around. But for the types of trinkets I found around my house, I think Pawngo makes sense, especially since it sounds so easy. And once I unpack my boxes (and the kids go back to school), I think I’ll give it a try.

Would you sell off old family heirlooms for cash?

Stacey Bradford is the author of The Wall Street Journal Financial Guidebook for New Parents.

MY THOUGHTS

I'm not into pawning jewelry.  But I don't mind selling jewelry that I don't use anymore. Especially those that doesn't have any memories attached to it.  You know what I mean.

Just be careful and go to buyers who have good reputation.  Shop around, too, and compare. And don't do this alone. You don't want to be stripped of the cash you just got for your gold.

Simple Thoughts

Get Simple Thoughts
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, Lifescript Personal Coach
Published May 04, 2011

The world is a complicated place. Since we all have to live in it, the fewer complications we add to it, the better our lives become. I think one of the primary reasons that so many people struggle with life and fail at goals is because they tend to make everything much too complicated. In short, we’re very good at making mountains out of mole hills. The remedy for this human tendency to complicate things is to become more simple minded.

The typical definition of simple mindedness is a negative one that means “to be stupid, or silly or foolish or to lack sophistication or be naïve.” I mean something totally different; I’m implying breaking down life happenings into their smallest components in order to minimize stress, increase productivity, create simplicity and make life less chaotic. One of my favorite quotes about simplicity comes from Albert Einstein: “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." It would be beneficial to all of us if we all became a little more simple-minded with the daily matter of our lives.

Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com

MY THOUGHTS

Mountains out of mole hills? We make mountain ranges out of soil in a flower pot.

WOULD YOU LIVE A SIMPLE LIFE?

Would You Live the Simple Life? 

A couple who owns just 100 things got me thinking about my consumption

Ysolt Usigan ON Aug 19, 2010 at 5:39PM

http://www.ivillage.com/would-you-live-simple-life/5-a-258963

Last week, I read an article in the New York Times about a couple who gave up luxuries -- two cars, wedding china to serve two dozen people, a two-bedroom apartment -- and started to live the ultimate simple life. Inspired by blogs and web sites, Tammy Strobel and Logan Smith streamlined their belongings to a -- gasp! -- 100 items. They donated books, sweaters, shoes, pots and pans, even a TV to charity, and soon enough accomplished their goal. It has been three years and the Portland, OR couple now live in a 400-square-foot studio with a nice-sized kitchen, have traded in their cars for bikes, and are debt-free (they owed about $30,000 when they began to make these changes).

Because of their simple lifestyle choices, Strobel and Logan have money to travel, can contribute to their nieces and nephews' education funds and work fewer hours. Strobel has since realized that one doesn't need to live "bigger" to be happy.

So what's the moral of the story? That you don't need stuff to make you happy?? Hmmm... This got me thinking... Can I ever live the simple life -- as in, own only 100 things? I have 100 pairs of shoes alone! And for that matter, can living "simple" make me happy?

I turned to an expert for clarity. "I do believe happiness is more fundamentally about relationships than stuff," says Wanda Urbanska, simple living expert and author of Simple Living with Wanda Urbanska. "Face it, we all gravitate toward favorite outfits and things, so simplifying for a fashion maven is about zeroing in on those favorite things and letting go of the excess."

My take: I do believe that you are not what you buy, and you certainly are not what you wear. In fact, I'd much rather spend my hard-earned money on an experience (a fun vacation, a delectable meal or a soothing spa treatment). An amazing experience will definitely make me more happy than buying stuff -- stuff that I'll use now and forget about, stuff that I probably didn't need at all, stuff that came out of an impulse purchase.

But, wait a minute... For me, shopping for my fall wardrobe is an experience in itself. The act of buying a crisp new trench coat or a chic yet comfortable pair of boots feels pretty awesome. It's like I'm celebrating my favorite season and getting ready for the experiences to come, which just happens to include wearing that crisp new trench coat and cute pair of boots. There can be a rewarding sense of self when one buys stuff. The idea that I can express myself through what I wear, for instance, helps my self-esteem, too.

Give me life, give me stuff!

I understand the idea of living "simple," but I don't think I'm quite down with living deprived. I guess the moral of the story -- for me, anyways -- is to (simply) spend wisely.

MY THOUGHTS

I agree.  Living simply does not mean 'living deprived'.  If you cut down on your lifestyle and you feel miserable then you are not living simply.  Your pretending to be.  Which is alright, I guess.  we're bound to feel some discomfort when we make changes.  Just remember, the reward comes after.  Never before.

PRODUCTS THAT EXTEND THE LIFE OF FRESH GROCERIES

Products That Extend the Life of Your Fresh Groceries
http://www.ivillage.com

Don’t let your grocery budget rot away in the fridge -- try these handy food-savers (8 Photos)

Herbs On Demand

Fresh herbs are expensive. Whether you grow your own or buy them in bundles at the market, keep them fresher longer -- in the freezer. With the Fresh Mill, you can freeze fresh herbs and sprinkle them directly onto dishes. The palm-sized device provides all the convenience of dried herbs with a just-picked, fresh flavor.

$18.40 on Amazon

Flavor In, Vampires Out

Keeping garlic in a ventilated container helps it last longer. The Garlic Saver, shaped to look like a real head of garlic, is easily identifiable and keeps the head of garlic together, even if you use just a clove at a time.

$7.99 for 2 at Gourmac

Better Produce Bags

Right now, how many plastic bags in your refrigerator contain wilted produce? Next time, try Debbie Meyer Green Bags, which claim to absorb the natural gas produced by certain varieties of fruits and vegetables that cause rapid deterioration.

$9.95 for 10 large and 10 medium bags at DEBBIE MEYER Green Bags

Air Is The Enemy

The tiny Frisper saves space and claims to keep food fresher five times longer, which means you won’t be emptying the fridge into the garbage. There is economic savings, too: the bags can be resealed up to 10 times, and a one-year warranty protects your minimal investment.

$89.99 for FF-600 Starter Kit at Oliso

Fresher Fridge

Toss a Fridge Ball into the veggie drawer and keep produce fresh up to three weeks longer than without the sphere. The balls claims to use potassium to absorb gasses released by fruit and vegetables that cause spoiling.

$7.95 for 3 Fridge Balls and 3 Fridge Packs at As Seen On TV Guys

Avocado’s Other Half

If you like a little bit of avocado in your sandwiches or on a salad, but can’t eat one all at once, the Avo Saver is for you. It fits snugly around the unused half to keep the flesh from turning brown, making these expensive fruits last longer.

$5.99 at Amazon

Fresh Finds

Using the same gas zapping technology as many of the food savers on the market, the Always Fresh Containers claim to help prolong the life of your favorite fresh foods, and they are microwave and dishwasher safe for easy cleaning and storage.

$19.99 for a ten-piece set at Always Fresh Containers

MY THOUGHTS

so, which one are you planning on buying?  just make sure you need what you'll be paying for.  i mean, why would you get Avo Saver? looks cute, though.



  

How To Be Smart When Grocery Shopping

BE A SMART GROCERY SHOPPER

from the article "Frugal Grocery Shopping For the Smart Shopper"
http://www.frugal-living-tips.com/frugal-grocery.html

Remember how you need to start with a Grocery Shopping List? Now, it's time to do the actual shopping...

How to be a smart frugal grocery shopper

Many people don’t realise this, but supermarkets spend thousands of pounds every year on cunning little marketing ploys to make you spend more money than you intended.

They employ teams of people to analyse shop layout and consumer shopping habits to make sure that they place their items in their store just in the right place to tempt you.

However if you know and are aware of these ploys then you are more likely to recognise them and not fall headlong into them. Common tricks are:

    * Moving Isles -Moving items to different places in the store, so that you have to go hunting down isles that you would not normally venture into and so exposing you to more of their products. Keep your head down and only focus on the items you came into buy.

    * The long walk - Commonly purchased items such as milk, bread and eggs are normally placed along the edges of a store, often at the back of the store.

      Again forcing you to walk past lots of tempting goodies. If all you want to buy is a loaf of bread then keep to the edge of the store and avoid walking through centre isles.

      * Check those lower shelves - Shops will often put their most expensive items or their own brand on the shelves at eye level. This is because a lot of shoppers just take the first item they see on the shelves. Lets use baked beans as an example, you will often find the leading brand name right in the middle of the shelf, it’s a brand you know and hey, you need some beans, so why not.

      But check out the lower or upper shelves first. If you are on a frugal grocery mission, here is where you will find beans at a much cheaper price or that have special offers on them. The difference in price can be far greater than the slight taste difference in the product; brand name is not always the best.

    * Advertising – Beware of advertising hype. Shops and brands will bombard you with advertisements promising you all sorts of enticements, i.e. we are the best, this will make you stronger, and this will make your hair shinier. Be aware that this is advertising and their main aim is to get you to buy their product instead of someone else’s.

      Don’t be fooled by this hype, many products are even made by the same manufacturer and sold as different brands. Remember buy what you need and not what the advertisers tell you that you need.

MY THOUGHTS

i had almost 4 years of hypermarket experience and we never looked at it that way - i mean designing store layout to trick customers into buying.  store layout is about product visibility and shopping convenience. anyway, grocery trips should be well-planned.  When you're in a rush, you tend to just grab the first thing that you see.  If you want to save, you want to be able to compare prices.  I've seen shoppers with calculators while shopping. Not a bad idea.

THE VALUE OF A GROCERY LIST

HOW TO SAVE MONEY WITH A GROCERY LIST

from the article "Frugal Grocery Shopping For the Smart Shopper"

Frugal grocery shopping lists

Making out a list before you go shopping will not only save you time, but it will also help to keep you focused and not get side tracked by tempting offers. However this will only work if you keep strictly to your list and not go shelf browsing.

Tips for writing out your frugal grocery shopping List:

    * Decide in advance your next week’s meals and note down the ingredients required.

    * Check your cupboards to see what ingredients you do not have or need to re-stock.

    * Check your staple items such as bread, milk, cleaning products and personal care items.

    * Once you have made your list keep it available for next week, it will come in very handy as reminder of items that you regularly need. I sometimes forget to buy some the basic items if I don’t have a list, I suppose it’s because they are a bit boring I guess.

MY THOUGHTS

i never prepare a grocery list. i like browsing the grocery shelves. naturally, i always overspend.  worse, i waste a lot of the things that i bought since overspending usually means over stocking.

but before you prepare your grocery list, you should start with a meal plan for the week? how will you know what to buy if you don't have meals planned?

SIMPLE , STEADY AND IN MOTION

Stay simple, stay steady, stay in motion

HEALTH & WELL-BEING
Selena DeLeon Certified Personal Trainer
Thursday, January 13, 2011

The advent of a new year brings for me a need to clear out old things, simplify life and get clean. As I am clearing out the old junk in my house, it occurs to me that simplicity is the pathway to clarity. The pounds that are stored as excess are nothing but that - excess. We look at our bodies and feel bad about ourselves because we associate the extra pounds with our failures, our weaknesses and defeat. Excess calories that have been stored for future use are stored as fat. The more meaning that we put to things is the more complicated the world becomes.

Simplify To Clarify

If you have stored calories that you need to expend, then the best way to "trash" them is to turn them into energy. Think about your body like your house; converting calories into energy through your choice of movement regularly will decrease the amount in storage, and throw all the unnecessary clutter away forever. But as we all know, your house is never totally clean. You have to constantly clean your house to keep it clean. The minute you stop, it starts to get cluttered and dirty again.

Simplify your diet and get your body clean. You know that if you eat pork sausages you will have to hold on to them for a long time before your body can empty them, and your house will be a mess for that much longer. We have to stay on top of our diet as if it were our house in order to avoid the build-up of calories. Be selective about 'junk' that you put into your house, and honour it as your temple.

Clean Up Your Diet

Every week create a single goal for your diet. This week I am eliminating nuts from my diet. Next week, no chocolate, and so on. Each week you can clean up your diet, one food item at a time. For some people embarking on a new lifestyle can be daunting, and taking baby steps can also work as an approach to a new commitment.

Simpler cooking methods like steaming or grilling with fewer additives are the best ways to a healthy diet. Fresh, simple herbs like rosemary and garlic are great to flavour a meal. Simple foods such as potatoes rank much higher on the energy return scale than rice or bread.

Simplify Digestion

The simpler the food, the less energy your body expends to break it down. Have you ever noticed that after eating a heavy meal you feel tired? It is because your body is using up all of your energy to digest the food. The energy that you save on digesting your food is energy that can be used instead to burn up excess calories. The 'Fit for Life' diet created by Harvey and Marilyn Diamond is still one of my favourite diets to recommend to people who are trying to lose weight. Their method of combining certain foods to simplify digestion makes sense.

Food Is Fuel

Some persons respond better to a set menu, because that simplifies their food choices. Food is fuel; it is scientific. Energy that goes in is either energy spent or energy in the bank. If you take choices away, then you are not subject to emotional pitfalls. You remove bad food from your kitchen and you are no longer a victim of temptation; shorten your supermarket list, save time on preparing foods... in short, simplify.

Clarify Your Exercise

Clean and solid would be two good buzz words to describe how you could interpret your exercise schedule. Make a commitment to exercising on set days and at set times, and stick to it. You may encounter yourself as lethargic or overtired on those days, but if you give yourself permission to quit, it breaks the momentum.

It is a myth that the more you do exercise, the easier it gets. Exercising never gets easier, but your mind and your body do become accustomed to it. Stopping and starting interrupts this cycle, so don't get sucked into the pitfall of letting your excuses get in the way. Putting your body in motion stimulates connections within your body and your mind, and this is happening whether you are running at your fullest potential or at 40 per cent of it, so what is important is that the process continues. Even if you have pain, there is always the minimum that you can do so that your mind is registering that it is being turned on to exercise.

Simplify your ideals towards your performance. A simpler approach to exercise can free you from the pressure of performing. In most workouts it is necessary to perform and challenge, but not every time. A healthy balance to a 'fit lifestyle' can only exist if you know how to give to your body and take from it. Slow down the workout if you are feeling slow one day, make a regular breathing pattern your only goal, and visualise what you want to get out of exercising in that moment.

Getting clear on your relationship with your body can free you from frustration and guilt. The key to this clarity is to simplify a style of living that can sometimes become complicated and messy. Throw away old ideas about your body; those battles have not served you in the past and are now gone. Wherever you feel confronted by your energy or your health, take it down to its core, take a deep breath and know that it is all pure, simple and good.

MY THOUGHTS

there's really nothing new in this article, is there?  and it's quite clear what the author is suggesting. it's not about diets. it's about lifestyle - a simple lifesttyle that is committed to being fit for life.

sometimes i don't feel like reading these articles (on weight management)anymore.  but if i don't, then i won't be remindedof how important it is.  so,i keep on looking for these articles as a way of "nagging" myself.  i have so many pounds and inches to lose.  and it's not just about vanity.

you might want to check on these sites:

http://www.thedietchannel.com/Fit-for-life-diet.htm
http://www.fitforlife.com/diets.html
http://www.diet.com/g/fit-for-life-diet
http://www.healthreserve.com/dieting/fit_for_life_diet.htm

SAVING ON ELECTRICITY

SAVING ON ELECTRICITY

From the Article "Frugal Heating Tips And Energy Saving Ideas"

Electricity - These days everything seems to need to be plugged in, I personally try to stay away from unnecessary electrical equipment like digital clocks and fake flame effect fires. Here is some of the best frugal heating tips and other electrical reducing ideas I have come across and use every day in my own home.

    * Only boil enough water in the kettle that is required.

    * Use energy saving light bulbs wherever possible, they are even available as day light bulbs that I find a much brighter light.

    * Turn off electrical equipment when not in use and do not leave them on their standby function.

    * Turn lights off when the room is empty

    * Clean behind refrigerators regularly to keep the cooling elements clear of dust. This makes them far more efficient.

Check out this great ebook about how you can save money on your fuel bills by generating your your own power, I believe the ebook also comes with a FREE book about biodegradable fule for your car too. Could be worth a look. Click Here!

 MY THOUGHTS

what about charging in the car?  while the car is in motion, of course.  i don't know if it has any effect on the car batteries?

HOW TO REDUCE WATER CONSUMPTION

REDUCE WATER consumption
from Frugal Heating Tips And Energy Saving Ideas
www.frugal-living-tips.com

Water -

Many homes are now being fitted with water meters that may mean that if they do not reduce the way they use water they could be paying a lot more.

In deed the whole reason water meters are being fitted is to make people more aware of just how much water they are using and encourage them to change their ways and use water in a more frugal way.

A few ideas to reduce water usage are:

    * Fix leaking taps as soon as possible

    * Reduce the flush in your toilets by placing a plastic bottle filled with water or sand into the tank. It is also possible to buy toilets that come with the facility to use a short and long flush as required.

    * Have showers instead of baths and reduce the length of time in the shower everyday.

    * Turn water taps off when shaving or brushing teeth.

MY THOUGHTS

if you every had the misfortune of living in an area where water is gold (that has to be mined!), you would be more careful about your water consumption.  i don't have a problem turning off water while brushing my teeth.  but i waste a lot of water in the shower.i just love hot showers. 

SAVING UP ON LAUNDRY

SAVING UP ON LAUNDRY
from Frugal Heating Tips And Energy Saving Ideas
www.frugal-living-tips.com

The Laundry - Washing machines are one of the most expensive items to run, especially if you have a large family and need to do large quantities of washing every week. However, by using the machine wisely and in a more frugal way you can reduce the costs quite considerably:

    * Always wash a full load if possible.

    * Choose the half load option on the machine when washing a small amount of washing.

    * Turn down the temperature of the wash. Washing at 30 degrees rather than 40 will still wash your clothes and will mean that less energy is required to heat the water.

MY THOUGHTS

never thought about this saving tips. i should check on the 'half load option'.  i don't even know if the washing machine has temperature settings.

Save Electiricy when Buying New Equipment
From: Frugal Heating Tips And Energy Saving Ideas
www.frugal-living-tips.com

Whilst finding frugal heating tips around my house to help me save on those horrible utility bills, I came across other energy saving ideas which over time would also help to reduce my expenditure.

I was amazed at just how many little ways there were to make the home more economical.

Here are my frugal heating tips and other energy saving suggestions to help reduce that awful feeling of dread every time you have to open your latest utility bill.

New Equipment - When buying new household items such as washing machines, refrigerators and cookers always make sure that you buy energy efficient one. Usually they are graded A - E depending on how much energy they use, with A being the most efficient.

They may cost a little more to buy initially than the less efficient ones but considering how long you will be using the equipment just imagine how much your savings could be over time.

MY THOUGHTS

watch out for next posts on the following:


-The Laundry

-Water

-Electricity 

-Cooking

-Heating

SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE THRU FRUGALITY

What Is Frugality And
How Can A Thrifty Lifestyle Benefit Us?

http://www.frugal-living-tips.com/frugality.html

Frugality is an old fashioned word, which is gaining new relevance in today’s over consuming society.

The old fashion meaning of the word meant to abstain or go without, but today it means living a simpler less wasteful life within our personal finances.

Personally speaking a frugal simple living has been a way of life for my partner and me for the last ten years, due mainly to the fact that our incomes just wouldn’t cover everything we needed if we wanted to own our own home.

Plus we also wanted to lead a more environmentally friendly lifestyle and the two practices just seemed to go together so well.

By making conscious decisions about how we spent our money and what we were buying we discovered that we were naturally producing less waste i.e. packaging etc.

Frugality does not mean going without

Many of our friends laughed when we started to lead a frugal lifestyle. They were happy to spend their money without thinking about the future and thought that we should stop worrying so much and do the same.

We think they thought that we were not enjoying life as much as them selves and didn’t want to see us go without.

But we weren’t going without and when interest rates started to creep up and our friends started to feel the pinch, they began to see what we were doing made some sense.

Soon they began asking our advice on how to live a more simple lifestyle as well.

So what is a thrifty lifestyle?

Basically it means thinking and planning ahead in all areas of your life where money plays a part. So pretty much everything really, but the main ones are:

    * Grocery shopping
    * General shopping
    * Using gas and electricity
    * Telephones
    * Holidays
    * Gifts
    * Special occasions
    * Household expenses

By simply sitting down and working out a simple budget for yourself, you can save yourself from those nasty bank statement surprises.

It also means living simpler. For instance, I like a glass of wine, now of course I would like to drink the most expensive wine all the time, but that is just not reasonable. So I shop around for those special deals and discounts and only buy wine within a certain price bracket.

That way I can enjoy great wine and not break the bank. When you apply this principle to everything you buy, you’ll soon find yourself still enjoying a good lifestyle but within your budget.

For me being frugal is something i now do daily without much effort and without really having to think about it too much, it really can become second nature.

De-clutter your life

Have you ever noticed how advertisements on the TV, in magazines and catalogues are always showing us pictures of spacious open plan living with no clutter and everything looking so fresh and light?

This is because this is the image many people have in their minds about how they would like to live, but how many of us actually do live in these wonderfully simple surroundings?

If you are anything like me you will notice just how much more stressful situations are when everything is crowded or in a mess around you. I just can’t get my head together unless I have space to breath.

Being frugal has helped me to create this space and de-clutter my life.

I recently had to help my family move house and boy was it an eye opener for all of us. We really had no idea just how much STUFF they had accumulated over the years and just how much of it was totally useless or hadn’t seem the light of day for years.

We ended up throwing most of it away, what a waste of money and resources. We all kept thinking what they could have done with all that money if they had just thought twice about what they were buying.

My first rule of being frugal has always been to get organised and to de-clutter our home. That way I can value the things I have, I live in a lovely spacious environment and I always know what I need.

Try it yourself, even if it is only one room at first. Sort everything out and think to yourself, do I really need this? I bet you’ll be surprised just how much you end up giving to the charity shop and how you’ll find your new de-cluttered room a relaxing space. You’ll soon be doing the rest of the house.

A little note for those of you who have children:

I bet you’re thinking, “how on earth am I supposed to de-clutter my home with kids around”? I never said it would be easy but it is do-able, the secret is to get the whole family on board with the new plan.

It will be far easier when everyone is pulling in the same direction and everyone will benefit in the long run. Getting the kids to understand why you are living frugally and how budgeting your money is important it will be far easier to achieve as a whole family.

MY THOUGHTS

decluttering is hard to do alone. especially in a house you are sharing with others.  but you can always declutter whatever space you have for yourself be it your room, your closet or even your desk.

now, frugal living is something that i am finding to be very challenging but very liberating. give it a chance. frugality won't fail you.

Leave Your Chaotic Life

Unplug from the Chaos and Recharge Your Life
By Suzy Welch
Original Content  |  October 06, 2009

You're exhausted after a long day at the office and you hear, brrrrr-ing! Is that your boss calling you again on your work cell? Your child's play phone buzzing? Or the alarm on the stove telling you you've just burned dinner? Balancing your life at home and your work life can be stressful, but it doesn't have to be. Suzy Welch, author of 10-10-10: A Life-Transforming Idea, shares ways to unplug from the chaos and live a more balanced, meaningful life.

Far be it from me to counsel anyone away from a nice glass of red wine or gorgeous massage, but truth be told, such devices never particularly worked for me when my kids were screaming hysterically that the bathwater was cold while my boss was calling on my cell phone to talk about how wrong my slides looked.

Nope, my tips for how to unplug and recharge when work and life collide are all mental. Metaphysical, even. But at least I know they work.


Live a life of your own design
The first step is frighteningly simple. Accept the fact that there is no such thing as work-life balance. I'm not kidding. Quite the opposite. I just know from years and years of trying to do it all and being everything to everyone that "balance" is an unattainable goal. In the end, you can only make choices, some of which are quite hard, and take responsibility for their consequences, most of which are not perfect. In other words, my first piece of advice is to understand that you are living a life of your own design. If you feel off-kilter or stressed, your decisions are the reason. And if you want to feel less off-kilter and stressed, you can make different decisions to get you there.

Don't you feel recharged already? Now, take responsibility for your decisions
My second tip is related. What I suggest is that you backtrack a bit and make sure you have fully faced into your decisions and their consequences.

Look, every decision we make has an upside and a downside. If you cut back to 20 hours a week at work and limit your travel, you'll certainly see more of your kids, but your ascent to the corner office will certainly slow down. That's reality. It's the way business works, and I would even argue that it's the way business should work. Availability matters, especially in times of economic crisis. And yet, all too often we blame someone else—society, our bosses, our co-workers with no kids and tons of ambition—for the downside of our judgment calls.

How nerve-racking such mind games can be.

How freeing it is instead—how energizing—to accept ownership of our lives. I will never forget the day when I did that. All four of my kids were under 10 years old at the time and, as usual, dinner included a recounting of school events and other activities I had missed because of work. "Why can't you be at soccer practice?" one of my sons started in.

I was just about to launch into a sob story about financial security when, suddenly, it dawned on me that money wasn't the real issue. It was a smokescreen I put up to avoid talking about my values and choices. If I wanted to be home full-time, we could downsize our lifestyle to make that possible. But the truth was I loved my work. It felt important to me; it gave me purpose and happiness. I honestly believed that it made me a better mother. I wasn't sorry I worked. Indeed, I'd made a decision to do so. Now all I needed to do was acknowledge its consequences.

Which I did with a nice long lecture.

The complaining soon stopped. I'm not saying my kids suddenly started loving my decision to work, but they came to understand and accept it with me.

Know that time is on your side
My final tip is probably the easiest to take of the lot. It's just this: Remember that the main source of any work-life balance conundrum is typically your children needing you more than you can be there, and the immutable truth is that your children eventually grow up and don't need you anymore. Oh, okay, I know children always need you. It's not yet noon as I write this and I've already been on the phone three times with my daughter who is a sophomore in college. Her older brother has checked in once to discuss car insurance and other life worries. And the day is young.

But that terrible, nagging feeling of "Help, there's not enough of me to go around!"—it's been gone for years. My kids now say things like, "I'd love to talk longer, Mom, but I need to get a pedicure before I go out tonight." So, am I telling you to just endure the chaos and try to hold it together? Not at all. As I mentioned, balance doesn't exist. Only your decisions exist, along with their consequences. Understand them, own them, even embrace them.

And know also that time is on your side. Eventually, work-life "balance" works itself out.

Suzy Welch is a columnist for O, The Oprah Magazine and author of 10-10-10: A Life-Transforming Idea , which presents a decision-making strategy for success at work, as well as parenting, love and friendship.

MY THOUGHTS

yes - soon you'll find yourselves empty nesters - there's nothing to balance.  kids are off living theri own lives.  work has slowed down (or you've retired).  so, i agree. don't balance.  prioritize.  balancing means you try to cope with everything all at the same time.  either way, something suffers and you end up a loser in both games.  i suppose the question is what do you value the most?  and make your decisions based on your answer.